January Interview: Felicity Irvine

Lizzie here again back with another interview. This one comes from a personal friend of mine and a local Felis member Flic!

Tell us a little about yourself.
You want the hardback copy or the abridged version? Well, there’s not really much to tell. Lets see. I’m a cat, that much is certain. Been one my entire life. You could say that I like to live life on the edge. I’ve only used two and a half of my nine lives so Still got uh.. seven and a half more. I guess fire is probably the best thing that can be used to describe me. Hot, intense, destructive and out of control. Not to mention a tad sensual. Only this fire’s not going to burn out any time soon. Here’s hoping at least.

What do you do in your spare time?
Alexander Schneider.. Wait, sorry. What I do. Sorry, I just .. misheard. I suppose I like to sleep a lot. And no, Lizzie. Not sleeping around like that. I can see that look on your face! Being a cat has its perks: People see you looking cute, let you into their house, and let you live with them. Or of course some just kick you in the ribs, but lets just pretend they don’t exist. Then when you get sick of them, or their food runs you can just.. find somewhere else. Kind of like boyfriends really. Only I do the kicking of their ribs.

What was your favourite part about Moreau Island?
Oooh tough one. Mainly because most of that dumb island was boring as bat poo. I guess spiking the punch with my pink friend, and that hot babe with a huge rack was fun. Probably made if more fun for everyone else there too. Or maybe if was getting covered in the Mr. Stein’s piss. And your face! Just looking at it when we started ripping that hotel room apart was classic! You looked like a lobster in a dress! But hey! I met you, didn’t I? Gotta say, I did find out that dogs can be just as fun as cats.

What would you consider your greatest strength to be?
Lets not get my head any bigger now. It’s hard enough wearing hats with my bushy hair. Would sleeping be considered a strength? I don’t snore. At least I don’t think I do. Actually, thinking about it, getting on people’s good sides comes pretty naturally for me, even if it does mean forcing people into things. I might come off a bit strong, and playful at times, but at least I’m not boring!

Who would you say your biggest role model would be and why?
Evel Knievel. Hands down. He’s just got to be a cat. He has to! Why else would he be such a daredevil, bashing the bajoolies out of his body on a little putt putt bike. But assuming he’s not, gotta give the man respect. Living life on the edge, with only one to play with it. A bloody legend.

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want and why?
A motorbike! Actually, nahhhh. I can probably get around faster as a pussy cat. How ’bout… A pet elephant! That blows ice cream out its nose, poops out chocolate, and can fire laser beams out of its eyes? Did I mention that this elephant can fly? Nah, I’m kidding.. But that would be awesome, wouldn’t it! Realistically, one day, I wouldn’t mind just.. having a home of my own. But really, I don’t see that ever coming true.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
You should know, being a cat, that we pretty much can go anywhere. Just stow away in some luggage, or meow cutely to someone, then we can end up a hitch-hiker on the way to the moon if we really wanted to. But why stop at the moon? That’s boring. Too many cows, laughing dogs, dishes and spoons. I gave up the fiddle long ago. What about.. The sun? Yeah, that place is really fiery and hot. ‘Course you’ll need a special sun proof suit, but to just walk on the sun would be the best feeling – EVER!

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